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Ahem…

Posted on June 14, 2013 by Anisa

Well hi there.  I left you hanging, didn’t I.  What happened to me?

It can best be summed up by two words: real life.

Desert Museum

I had a whole series of posts written in my mind and a few started in my draft folder.  I had planned to give weekly challenges for the social media fast.  I was going to challenge you and myself to pick up the phone and call a friend, to write a letter and mail it to someone, and finally, to be a host.  And I did those things.  I wrote several letters, and I loved it.  I called people to reconnect with them.  What I didn’t do was “like” their status.

Although I dropped the ball here on the blog, I completed my social media fast.  June 1 came and went without me glancing at Facebook.  After that first week, it wasn’t hard anymore.  In fact, I wasn’t even really drawn to the computer at all (hence the absence here).

Sometime earlier this week, I got on Facebook and deleted my personal account (the blog page is still up and growing – Rick is managing it for me).  Not the temporary delete, where if you sign in again all your friends and pictures are still there.  No, I deleted pictures and then permanently deleted the account.  And it felt good.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

Making javelinas

I got a lot done last month.  My kids and I studied the Sonoran Desert and then at the end of the month, we took a trip there and stayed with friends in Tucson.  They boys LOVED it.  They loved the desert, but they loved the projects we did together more.  They loved painting jack rabbits and reading books and identifying nocturnal and diurnal.  They loved my undivided attention.

I also met more people.  I made a friend here and we’ve gotten together a couple of times with plans to meet again.  My house is (marginally) cleaner.  But the biggest change has been my mood.  I’m happier.   And my kids are happier too.

I have to admit though, more than the media fast has kept me from the blog this last few weeks.  I’ve struggled to find the words here lately.  By lately, I mean the last few months.

Part of me feels like this space has grown less personal.  Also, the modern homestead movement is really taking off (yay) but is now filled with many, many voices, and I don’t know that I have a lot more to say right now.

Henry Map

These thoughts had been rattling around up there in my mind for a while, but I’ve pushed them aside.  And then came my challenge, and around the second week, I got Calamity Jane’s blogging farewell in my inbox.  Her post is a great summary of how I have felt about this blog.

We are in a different place than we were before, literally.  I am a little weary of talking “at” readers and the interwebs.  I’m tired of stopping every project for pictures.  I’m tired of thinking of new things to share.  I just want to live for a bit.

Since the beginning of June, Rick has given me a hard time about just up and abandoning the blog here, but  really didn’t know what to write.  I’m not going to stop blogging completely, but I do know that when I write, it is going to have to be something I want to write.  It will probably be more personal, and if will definitely be less consistent.

giant saguaro

So there it is…. no promises for future posts.  When they come, I hope you will read, if they are interesting to you.  I know that I will always write something, some where.  In the mean time, thanks for following, and supporting.  And if you are growing things, keep growing.

Now I’m off to study sea turtles with my kiddos.

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Real Community Challenge: Week 1

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Anisa

We’re six days into the Real Community challenge.  How are you doing?  As a quick recap, the Real Community Challenge rules are:

  • Limit the social media sites that suck away time and energy.
  • Practice new, more constructive habits.
  • Do not allow media, TV or phones at the table.
  • Take a new step towards real community each week.

These first few days have been interesting.  I have done pretty well with what I set out to do.  I ate meals at the table with the kids, and we went for walks for all but three of the mornings.  One day was too rainy to go walking and the next day was too muddy.  This morning we didn’t walk because the maid came.  For some reason she usually comes on Mondays.  (We have no maid.  I am the maid.  But I was motivated to clean, so I didn’t want to interrupt the flow).

I’ve been able to somehow (miraculously!) get more done, now that I’m not checking Facebook.  I caught up on my emails.  I wrote a letter to a friend and mailed it.  I got more things unpacked.  I had dinner ready most of the nights by the time Rick was home.  I did an art project with the kids.

However, it has been tough for me.  I was really tempted to cheat and look at Facebook (through Rick’s account!) last night.  But I stayed strong and didn’t do it.  Rick is out of town, and the kids were in bed.  The house was quiet, I was caught up on emails, with nothing to do.

Instead, I decided to talk to a friend.  She texted me and then I asked her to call if she had time.  It was just enough distraction that the urge soon passed.

Over all, I’m enjoying it so far.  I am enjoying not wasting so much time and getting more done.  But I do feel still a bit disconnected.  SO here comes my next step to build real community. 

This week I will meet someone new.  I encourage you to do this too. 

Saturday I took the kids to the playground across the street from our house.  The playground is going to be renovated soon, and I accidentally showed up when a meeting about it was supposed to take place.  This might come as a surprise, but I’m not an overly social person.  I tend to avoid large crowds of people and it is my nature to go to the park when there is no one else there.

But I was there and suddenly lots of people were there.  I decided to pipe up and say that I hoped there would be benches in the shade for parents to watch their kids play.  As you can imagine, there were other moms there too.  I met two of them.  Coincidentally, one of the women was a friend of a reader of this blog who has just moved from Texas to Colorado… small world huh?

Meeting people is hard for me.  I tend to just spill my guts and show all my crazy within the first ten minutes of meeting someone.  I mean, I told both of these women that I was a blogger, that I moved from Colorado, I was a weird hippie and that I lived without a fridge for a year and a half.  Yeah.  They were both kind though, and they both emailed me within the day.  And I plan (hope) to get together with them.

So yay! I met someone new!  Two someones! But it was on Saturday, not this week.  Because I’m not asking you to do anything I’m not going to do, I’m still going to make sure I meet someone else this week too.

Why is meeting someone new important to real community?  Well, for me, the reasons are obvious, since I’m new in town.  But even if you have lived in your city your whole life, it’s important.  Others may have resources you never knew about.  For example, both of the women I met at the park invited me to be a part of various communities in the area (a real food yahoo group that does group buys, a home school group, a mom’s group, and resources for buying raw milk and fresh eggs).  Jackpot!

When I lived in Colorado, I was constantly finding new resources through new friends, even though I had lived there my whole life.  We need people to have community, and the more of them you know in real life, the stronger that community will be.

So that is the mini-challenge within the Real Community Challenge.  Meet someone new.

My goal now looks like this:

I will be blocking Facebook and limiting Pinterest.  Instead of checking them I will go for a walk in the mornings.  Media, TV and phones are not allowed at the table and will be shut off or silenced during meals.  I will continue eating meals at the table with my family. And this week, I will meet someone new.

A side note here… many people have expressed to me in private that they love the idea of this challenge and that they will be joining in one form or another.  Some of them don’t want to announce it.  That’s ok.  It’s also ok if you don’t want to get off of Facebook (or what have you) completely, but just want to manage the amount of time you spend on it better.  The point of this challenge is not to completely cut yourself off from social media (unless that’s what you want), but rather focus on REAL community, face-to-face relationships.  So go with what works for you. 

Tell me friends, how were the first few days?  And if you haven’t joined in yet, are you considering it?

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Real Community Challenge

Posted on April 29, 2013 by Anisa

Last week I shared with you my recent angst over social media, and the idea of taking a break from it for the month of May.  Despite all the reasons I shared, taking a break from Facebook and other social media outlets is going to be a tough challenge for me.

Before I get too far into this, I want to tell you that I realize the irony of presenting this idea on my blog, since blogging is a form of social media.  But for me, the blog is neither a huge time sink, an addiction, or a source of fear or anxiety.  I can’t say the same for Facebook.

Today, I’m going to lay out the rules of the challenge.  Throughout the month I plan to share mini-challenges to help us all stay on track, as well as address the positives of social media, and how we can keep the good things without getting sucked into the negatives of social media. This is a work-in-progress for me, so I will probably be making the rules up as I go.

Also, it’s worth mentioning here that my personal social media addiction is with Facebook.  Yours might be too, or maybe it is Twitter, Reddit, You Tube, a certain news website, your RSS feed/Reader or certain blogs.  For the sake of simplicity, I’m going to say FB.  Just apply what I’m saying to the social media outlet of your choice.  Also, please note that the blog automatically posts to Facebook (if you are not participating in the challenge, I don’t want  you to think I’m cheating. ;) ).

I mentioned last week that I thought social media was a lazy community replacement.  So I’ve decided to call  this the Real Community Challenge.

Real Community Challenge 2013

First of all, we need to break the habit.  We need to stop visiting the websites that cause us to waste time or distract us from real life.  Even if it’s this one.  This can be tough.

For me I have a habit of sitting down with my morning coffee, checking my email and then checking FB.  I can waste a whole morning clicking through to different stories.  I plan to install some blocking software on my browser that will keep me from clicking through to FB for the entire month of May.  Since I use Firefox, I will be using LeechBlock.

Here is a really useful link that talks about blocking sites for different browsers, as well as more permanent ways of blocking sites.  Also, if you don’t know which sites are wasting the majority of your time, you can use a tracker (also linked in the page above) to discover what they are.

I’m also going to use LeechBlock to block Pinterest at certain times of the day.  Pinterest is an interesting form of social media.  I’m including it here because I tend to spend a lot of time on it, however I feel differently about Pinterest than other forms of social media.  I will talk more about this later this month.

Next, we’re going to make new habits.

Instead of checking my FB page first thing in the morning while my kids are eating breakfast, I am going to sit at the table with them to eat.  And then clean up breakfast together, get the kids dressed and go for a walk.  I want this to be the new habit.  I’m going to replace my old habit with my new habit.  I don’t care how long or short the walk is.  I need to get outside and see the sun and I am resolving to do this instead of waste time on the computer.

The first rule of the challenge is no phones or media devices at the table and no TV during meal times.

No checking email during dinner, no texting, and if your phone rings during a meal, let it go to voice mail.  You can call them back after dinner is over.  Shut off the TV while you eat.  Silence your phone.

This is my way of telling my family and others that I’m with, they are more important to me than whatever is happening online or in the outside world.  There is no reason to have your phone at the table, a date or dinner party unless you are a doctor or midwife on call, a first responder whose job requires your availability or something similar.  Stress at the office or a micro-managing boss doesn’t count.  This is a good boundary for everyone.

Finally, we are going to take steps to build real community.

Each week I’m going to add a new challenge to build community.  The first place I want to build real community is in my home at meal times.

Every night our family has dinner together, at the table.  We sit down together, eat, and then clear the table together.  If your family doesn’t do this, I urge you to start and to make it a habit.  Since we already do dinner, my first steps are going to be to have every meal together as a family.  At the table.

Instead of making the kids lunch and then doing my own thing while they eat, I’m going to sit down to eat with them, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. If you are not home all day with your kids, I encourage you to eat your meals at a table, not in your car, at a desk or on the couch, and to eat them with someone else.

If you are in an office, eat at a table in the lunch room instead of your desk.  Perhaps a coworker will join you (hey, look, community!).  If you go to a restaurant, go inside and sit down to eat, and try not to go alone.  If you are on the couch, chances are you are watching TV, disengaged from others around you and very likely to overeat.  I find that if I am sitting at a table, especially with someone else, I am much less apt to try to check my FB and more likely to talk to them.

This first meal-time step is simply a suggestion.  If you already eat all your meals at a table with other people, please feel free to make your first step something else.

So that’s the start of it, pretty simple I think.  Starting Wednesday, for the month of May:

  • I’m blocking the social media sites that suck away my time and energy.
  • I’m going to practice a new, more constructive habit.
  • I will not allow media, TV or phones at the table.
  • Each week I will take a new step towards real community.

So, will you join me?

If you are up for this challenge, please post what site(s) you will be blocking, what your new habit will be, your promise not to allow phones or media at the table, and what your first step towards real community will be.

I will be blocking Facebook and Pinterest.  Instead of checking them I will go for a walk in the mornings.  Media, TV and phones are not allowed at the table and will be shut off or silenced during meals.  This week I will start eating all meals at the table with my family.

Categories: Community, Simple Living | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

Tips for Using Your Push Mower

Posted on April 24, 2013 by Anisa

I realize that in some parts of the country, there is still snow on the ground.  Down here in central Texas, though, I just finished mowing the lawn for the second time.  Whew!  I’m grateful that our backyard here is modest, since even this “mild” spring weather is hot to me.

Here are some tips in case you are new to using a push-reel mower and finding it difficult.

Push mower

1. Clean the yard first.  Our power mower could chop up sticks, but twigs will get caught in the reel of the push mower, bringing you to a stop and you’ll have to reverse the blades to get it out before you continue mowing.  Frequent starts and stops require a lot more energy than maintaining momentum.  A few minutes spent looking for sticks and rocks and small kids’ toys, anything that might get caught in the mower’s blades, and removing them from the grass before you get started is time well spent.

2.  Set your blades higher.  Longer grass uses less water, and higher blades will promote that, taking just a little off the top.  If you cut the grass shorter, it might need more passes of the mower, which can double (or more) the time you spend mowing.

3.  Mow more often.  While longer grass is good for water conservation, let it get too long and you’ll have trouble getting the push mower through it at all.  This is especially true of thick lawns or lawns with hills.  Our new lawn has a bit of a rise in one area and that grass is harder to mow.  If we were to “let it go” it would be very difficult to cut with the push mower.

4.  Use a trimmer for the edges.  I’ve had a  hard time getting the push mower to do a good job cutting the grass at the edges of the lawn where it meets with the fence or the patio.  Instead of struggling over those areas over and over, I just mow as close as I can and then clean up the edges with the trimmer.

5.  Mow in sections.  Our front yard here is about the same size as it was in Colorado, but the grass here is thick and harder to get the mower through.  It makes the job tough for me in the heat (I know!  Wimpy Colorado girl in Texas!).  Instead of sweating my way through the whole job at once, I break it into two or three more manageable chunks.  The mower is lightweight so it’s no big deal to walk it back to the backyard while I take a break, get a drink or water my garlic.  Then after I’m refreshed, I take on the next section of lawn.  I can still get the job done, both front and back yards, in under an hour including the breaks.

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Social Media Fast?

Posted on April 22, 2013 by Anisa

Facebook.  We love it and we hate it.  We kind of even love to hate it.  It lets us share our lives with friends all over the world, yet… we can get into arguments that can make us dislike people who we would have considered a friend.  It gives us a sense of community and belonging, but somehow we still feel disconnected.

Last November I started mulling over the idea of a social media fast.  There are a number of reasons. At that time, one main reason was that I felt it was taking time away from my kids.  Other times I’ve considered it because some post somewhere upset me.  I’ve taken breaks from it, but somehow I always manage to get drawn back into Zuckerberg’s clutches.  Even for a month when I had no computer, I still managed to check my Facebook.

And that’s the problem.

Social media is addicting.  You post something and a friend somewhere “Likes” it.  And that’s fun.  Your friend posts funny updates or ecards, and you just have to see if there’s something new.  And before you know it, an hour has gone by and you’re wondering where it went.  It makes us feel like we are really interacting with people.  We are laughing at the same things, “liking” the same things.  We feel so validated.  We belong!

Oh, did I mention that this is virtually instant?

Social media takes very little investment on our parts and the return is huge.  Every time someone likes our post, or up votes or comments, we get a little dopamine rush.  We instantly feel validated.  There’s always something new, or interesting.  That News Feed goes on and on; there’s always more to read.  It’s not just jokes either!  We’re socially aware!  We track the news and follow politics and current event.  We share stories that matter to us.  This is real.  We tell ourselves it matters.

All of these things add up to something that it very difficult to tear ourselves away from.  It’s fun and we like it.  Our brains like it.  We just keep coming back for more.

Social media makes you dislike your friends.  Ever find yourself totally incensed at something your “friend” just posted?  I mean, how could anyone be so ignorant!  You have to tell them.  They are your friend, after all.  You had no idea anyone thought this way, especially not your friend!

I heard a story about a brave Connecticut newspaper that removed the feeling of anonymity that a screen name provides.  They published the tweets along with the profile photos and names of underage bullies.  To quote the Connecticut Newsroom linked above,

Vaguely summarizing this kind of bullying, identities protected, would have allowed the school district to continue to ignore the problem and the community to assume that it was “someone else’s kid.”

But the fact is that “good kids,” from “good homes,” honor roll students, athletes, male, female, participated in this stuff, and showed a fundamental and staggeringly dangerous misunderstanding about rape, consent and how to treat other people.

If we hadn’t identified the bullies, this would have been dismissed by the school district and the community as “just a few bad apples.”

I applaud this newspaper.  With the feeling of being anonymous, we allow ourselves to say and do things we would never otherwise do.

There IS a false sense of anonymity with social media.  We all feel a little more freedom to say things to others that we would never say to their faces.

When was the last time you walked into a room filled with 50 of your friends and acquaintances, and announced to them all, “I’m voting republican (or democrat or libertarian or fill-in-the-blank) and I think anyone who votes otherwise is a stupid, fear-mongering communist!”  I’m willing to bet for the vast majority of us, the answer is never.

However, under the guise of “sharing” we essentially do that.  We air all our opinions, be they religious, political or philosophical.  We share our parenting beliefs and choices.  We gather supporters around us and attack our friends for thinking differently.

We’re shielded by screen names and profiles and the feeling of being alone in front of the screen.  It is something akin to picking your nose in the car.

Social media spreads negative emotion.  Moods are contagious. Lots of complaining on Facebook?  Suddenly I’m complaining.  Friends getting up in arms? I’m up in arms too.  I’d believe it was just me, except it isn’t.  It’s obvious that it isn’t. It seems to me that moods seem to go viral on Facebook.

Often people get into arguments with people they don’t even know because of social media.  Some forms of social media, for example Reddit, seem to do nothing more than provide a forum to complain and criticize others.  While you can find some cool and interesting content on Reddit, there is this… vibe.  One that trolls love.  It is my experience that people will pick you apart on Reddit.  They will discount entire articles because of the author’s profile picture.

As a blogger, there is a feeling there like being thrown into a shark tank.  I get great traffic to the blog from Reddit, but if something of mine is posted there, I have to make up my mind to have double thick skin, and sometimes not read or respond to the comments left there.  It feels as if it is a haven for negativity and nasty comments.

Social media spreads news.  This could be considered a positive, right?  We all like to be informed and keep up with current events.  But take an honest look at what is in your News Feed.  Is it good news that is spreading around?  Or is it mainly bad news? Stressful news?

Bombings, shootings, rape, beatings, missing children, gun control, equality debates, corrupt politicians, eat this, don’t eat that, and on and on and on.

Some issues may be relevant to our lives, but most of them aren’t.  Do the stories we read affect the day-to-day decisions we make?  Outside of politics (and who can trust what they read in that arena), how does the news impact our lives?

A recent article shared on Facebook (the irony!) talked about news being bad for you.  Here is the link, and I encourage you to read it.

News, especially bad news, contributes to us feeling anxious, depressed, fearful, angry, sick, and possibly worst of all, indifferent.  News normalizes the abnormal.  We start to feel as if violence is commonplace.  We start to fear the next terrorist attack, or worse, we just count on it, waiting to hear the details of when and where and who.

On a personal level, I have struggled a lot over the last couple of months with my own fears.  Some of them are rational, but most of them are completely irrational.  I notice a marked increase in my fear and anxiety when I read even the headlines of bad news.

If I’m honest, I get nearly all the news I read from my Facebook News Feed.  It makes sense, I’m interested in what my friends are interested in.  But there are no filters for bad news on Facebook.  I can’t see the updates of “Jill’s” personal life, but block all the horrific news stories she seems fascinated with.  And it’s not just “Jill” so blocking her or unfriending her won’t help.  The bad news seems to come from every side.  We all feel stressed.  We all feel anxious.  We are all transfixed.

Social media promotes a false sense of community.  By December last year, I had made up my mind to do a social media fast on the blog.  I hinted at it in my resolutions post under the community header.  I had planned the date for February, but then we got the news about our move, so I decided to put the media fast on hold.  After getting settled in our new house, I was even considering not doing the fast all together.  I mean, all my friends live in other states now.  I don’t know anyone here.  I need to have a little social interaction, right?  And there’s the rub… social media promotes a false sense of community.

Over the last two weeks, although I had taken a decent break from Facebook due to the move, I find myself spending more time on it than ever.  While I’m “interacting” with people on the computer, I’m spending all my time in front of a screen, not seeing anyone’s face.  Let me repeat what I said above.  We’ve been here a month, and I don’t know anyone.   Facebook is a lazy community replacement.  I need to get out from behind my desk and off of my phone.  I need to have genuine interaction with real people.  And my kids need it too.

Maybe you didn’t move across the country and you know plenty of people in your city, neighborhood and workplaces.  But do you ever see them?  Have you heard their voice on the phone in a while?  When was the last time you had dinner together or just talked over the fence?

So… the big question.  Are you feeling any of the above?  Are you feeling at all like I do?  Are you willing to do a social media fast with me? 

Here is my idea.  For the month of May, we take a break from social media.  Whether it is Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other form (perhaps all of the above), we just Log Out.  Maybe we go so far as to stop reading the news, or watching TV.  And we take a month to focus on real community, on real life.  I have some ideas and suggestions for building that community we really want.  I think we can kick the habit of status updates.  What do you think?

Categories: Community | Tags: , , , | 8 Comments

Thrifty Thursday: Holiday Gifts Throughout the Year

Posted on April 18, 2013 by Anisa

Over the last few years, Rick and I have gotten pretty good at managing our monthly budget.  The one place where we have a huge bump, however, is always at the end of the year.  The holidays.

Ugh.  Holiday shopping is a large hole in our budget.  Every year we say we’re going to save, going to put a little money away every month so we have a cushion for December to buy gifts (or supplies to make gifts) for our family and friends.  But we don’t.  And then we end up relying on Rick’s bonus money or selling items on Etsy (I did pretty good last year), or whatever to eek out just enough for Christmas.  And we always end up scrimping on the gifts we give each other.

This year, I’m trying something different.  Buying and making gifts as I go.  I know it’s not a new concept, but I have never been able to make it work.  I always forget what I bought or where I put it, or I give the person the gift I bought early because I just can’t wait.

This year, I have a plan.  It’s a list.  That I keep with me. 

Gift Log

First, I made a list with three columns:  Who, What, and Where.  Make this list somewhere when you won’t lose it.  Mine is in my planner on a Contacts page in the back.  Put it in your phone, whatever… just somewhere where you can find it and access it quickly.  Not on your home computer.  I’ve tried that, and I forgot to keep it up to date.

The Who column is for all of all the people you’d like to give gifts to.  Count them up.  For me, it is 19 people if I count individuals, or 14 if we do some couple/family gifts.  Looking at how many months before the holidays, and since I started this in January, I decided that if I buy or make two gifts per month, I’d have all of my gifts made or purchased no later than September.  And I can totally afford two gifts per month.  If I were starting now, I would still be able to make it by December, possibly November.

WHERE

Ok, so two gifts a month.  Now here’s where the list is super important.  I need to remember WHAT I bought (and for whom), and WHERE I put it, so that in December, I can find the gift and give it to the person I bought it for.  That’s why you must have the list with you.

And then write down what the gift is and where you put it.

For example, I found this funny little mini-pinball game for my grandpa (I can share this gift because my grandpa doesn’t read my blog).  So next to my Grandpa’s name, I wrote Pinball Game in the What column, and then Pink Shoe Box in the Closet in the Where column.  At the old house we kept that box under the bed.  Since I moved the box, I made sure to update my list.  So I can find it later.

Box in closet

Simple, right?  I’ve stuck with it, and I really think it’s going to work this year.  And, it will leave me and Rick some extra money come the end of the year for each other, the kids, and the people we draw names for at Thanksgiving.

Do you budget or plan for the holidays?  What do you do that works?

Categories: Thrift | 6 Comments

The Move

Posted on April 12, 2013 by Anisa

Wow, where to start?  These last ten(ish) weeks  have been a real whirl-wind for us all.  I apologize in advance for the length of this post.  It feels necessary to tell this story before I move on to projects and ideas now that we are here in Texas.

Let’s see.  February in Colorado.  We found a buyer for our house almost immediately.  My bestie in Colorado has friends in our neighborhood that buy houses as rental properties.  Although I originally didn’t want to purposefully turn our home into a rental (being conscious of our good neighbors), the couple are involved landlords, met our neighbors and introduced their tenants to them as well.  And we didn’t have to show our house.

One of their tenants, a reader of this blog, had actually come to a potluck in the past.  He’s in the solar industry and was happy to inherit compost bins, garden beds and chickens.

Grandma & Nancy Making flags

Our good friends, Jen and Chris took the bees (at night), hive and all, to their new home.  If you remember, Chris is the one that caught our swarm for us originally and had been mentoring me on keeping bees.

We were feeling like everything was going perfectly.

Then I got a call that my uncle in Illinois had been hit by a car while walking across the street.  On the same day that I had thought to call him and then decided to wait because I was “busy” and thought it’d be easier to leave a message later.  He died from his injuries, which were extensive.  My other uncle and aunt (from Nashville) flew up to Illinois to handle his affairs.  After talking to all of his nieces (we’re his only family), they decided not to do a memorial in Illinois.  We were on the verge of this move, my sister was in the middle of a move from New Mexico to Amarillo, and my aunt was finishing the last of her chemo treatments in Tennessee.  They had him cremated and shipped a small portion of his ashes to my sister and I, and a portion to Nashville.  The rest they left in Illinois with his dearest friend.

I was pretty emotional for almost all the remaining weeks leading up to the move due to this.  I felt pretty guilty about not calling him, because I would have been able to talk to him one last time, and instead, waited out of selfishness over my time.

Grace-Ann and Abbey making flags

We had a little trouble finding a house to rent.  We had a place that we were really excited about.  We found it online and Rick drove past it and met one of the neighbors but had not seen the inside.  We signed a lease and then flew out to pay the deposit and do the walk-through.  But when we saw the inside… well although it wasn’t terrible, it was small.  And if I’m saying it’s small, than it’s really, really small.

Our house was 1300 square feet including the basement, the boys shared a room and we all used one bathroom with no problems.  This place… well, it had two bathrooms, but there was no way to put both boys in one room.  Although we can bunk their beds, every room had a ceiling fan.  The carpets smelled like dogs.  The stove had a glass top and I do most of my cooking in cast iron (problem!).  But besides all that, the washer and dryer were outside.  Knowing how much laundry we do as a family of five… I just couldn’t do it.  So we didn’t pay the deposit.  Rick made an excuse, and told him we’d get back to him before the weekend was over.

Boxes

Then we panicked.

We had a miserable dinner where Rick told me that I’d have to suck it up and figure out a way to squeeze our boys into one of the tiny rooms, and where I spent the entire meal on my phone looking up places for rent, arguing that it wasn’t too late and that we could find something else and that we weren’t stuck because we hadn’t paid any money.  We drove around in the dark, stopping at For Rent signs, calling realtors and leaving messages.  We went back to the hotel feeling really discouraged.  Neither of us slept well.

I finally gave up sleeping at 3:00 am, searching, searching, searching on my phone.  Thank goodness for my phone.  I went five or six years without a cell phone, but when we found out we were moving, I insisted on one that had GPS and could help me find my way around a new city.  And internet, thankfully.

By 6:00, Rick was up and I had a list of about fourteen places that might work out.  At 7:00, I couldn’t stand it any longer and started calling.  Most of the places were listed by realtors, and I figured I’d either leave a message or they’d be working already.  By 8:00, we had ten showing scheduled, with just enough time for breakfast before the first one.  By dinner time we had applications in on two places (our first choice and a back up choice), and I had told the landlord of the place we had a signed lease with that it was a no-go.

Granny & H

I flew back to Denver that Sunday and Rick stayed in San Antonio the rest of the week to work.  I called the landlord of the first place everyday, deciding to be the squeaky wheel.  And it paid off.  We let the back up place off the hook, and Rick, since he was still in town recovered our deposit and signed a new lease.

With the house in Denver under contract and a lease signed in Texas, we didn’t have much left to do but kill time.  I had hired a moving company (Rick’s company paid), and they did all the packing.  I mainly just sorted through things, took a lot to the Goodwill, and sold a few items at a garage sale or on craigslist.

The truck

We had a going away party about two weeks before we left. I had friends make prayer flags for us.  I loved the flags my friends had made before I gave birth to Cora, and I wanted a little piece of our loved ones to go with us to Texas.  I’m so grateful for all the love and support from our friends and family.

Rick’s aunt and uncle who delivered us Rick’s deer head so we could take it with us, and gave us a Whole Foods gift card so we could get groceries right away in Texas.  Robin who brought us homemade granola the day before we left, which proved to be essential in feeding the kids before we could get to the store.  Amy who offered countless times to run to the store in the weeks leading up to the move, or just to bring me a coffee.  Dan and Jody for trekking down from Johnstown to see us before we left.  Kristen and Geoff for being some of our closest and dearest friends and who supported us even though they didn’t want us to go.  Julie and Gavin for meeting me at Wahoo’s so many times when Rick was out-of-town.  Beth from my homeschool group who hugged me at the library after I got the news about my uncle.  All the old friends and new ones that came to our going away party.  Honestly, just too many small and large acts of kindness for me to name here.

Uncle Teke's Ashes

The week before moving day, my uncle’s ashes arrived.  My sister had come into town and the two of us, along with our mom, took the ashes up to the mountains and spread them near where my dad’s ashes we spread.  My uncle was a Colorado native, and very sentimental, so we knew he’d like to be in the mountains with his big brother.

The closing on the house was stressful (as is typical, so I hear).  We had written the contract with the buyers, no realtors.  And I didn’t sleep well for a week, afraid I had left some loop-hole or something, leaving us vulnerable.  Although we saved the cost of a realtor fee, I didn’t much enjoy this stress, and we will probably never sell a house “by owner” again.  Realtors are worth their fees, just for peace of mind alone, I think.

Favorite picture of all time

The move itself went off without a hitch.  If you can pay for a mover to pack you for your next move, I recommend it.  They were so fast and packed everything carefully.  It would have taken me weeks and weeks to do what they did in one day.  I panicked a bit the morning of the packing (I don’t know why), and my mom came over and just hung out with me while they boxed everything up.

They loaded the truck the next day.  For some reason I imagined that they’d be loaded in a couple of hours, but it took them all day, and didn’t finish until almost ten at night.  It was so strange to see the house so empty.  We stayed in a hotel that Friday night.

Follow the wind

Saturday morning we hit the road.  We drove down to San Jon, NM to stay with my sister and her boyfriend, Jason, at his ranch.  It was nice to see my sister on the trip, and the kids loved the ranch and seeing the cows and horses and deer out there.  Jason’s parents live at the ranch as well.  They are very sweet, and gave the kids a cowboy hat.  Perfect welcome to Texas.

Sunday was a long drive, but we pulled into San Antonio while it was still light outside.  Rick had to work Monday, and it would be Wednesday before the movers arrived with our stuff.  So I killed two days wandering around San Antonio with the kids.  These were the hardest days of the move for me.  They were lonely, and kind of boring, and very long.

Rick had Wednesday through Friday off that week, so we unpacked fairly quickly.  By the next Monday there were only a few boxes left.  They are still left.  Most of them contain books and craft supplies.  Stuff that was on that wall of shelves I had in the basement.  We left all those shelves in Colorado, and there is no basement in this new house, so we still have to figure out storage for all of that stuff.

Welcome to TX

Since being here, I have found incredible freedom.  Not knowing anyone means I have a completely open schedule.  We’ve all been really relaxed.  No demands on our time at all.  So far, it has felt much like a vacation.  We are starting to figure out a routine, and a week after we arrived, there was a neighborhood picnic where we met a few people and I signed Rick and I up to volunteer at the community garden here.  So far so good, I say.

Categories: what not | 6 Comments

Adapting in Place… Somewhere Else

Posted on January 31, 2013 by Anisa

Last year in March, Rick’s company offered him a promotion which we initially turned down.  It involved a move across the country and we weren’t really interested in relocating at that time.  They begged him to reconsider and flew the both of us in to check out the area.  I have to admit, visiting the farmers market in the first week of June to find these…  well, let’s just say Adam’s fruit wasn’t nearly so tempting.

Texas Toms in June!

Some of you might know of Sharon Astyk and have read her concept of Adapting in Place.  It’s a concept that we’ve been working toward achieving for a long time here.  All last summer we confronted the question of how to adapt in place when you don’t know where that place is/will be next year.  And really, is it wise to give up all the work we’ve done here and move to a completely new climate?  Questioning, questioning, questioning.

Rick liked the job and we both thought we could like the area, but we were also fearful of such a large change and leaving “our tribe.”  Rick put together a proposal detailing what we would need to move out there; he aimed high figuring that if he got it, it would be worth it.  We spent the summer doing projects around the house preparing to move, preparing not to move, on pins and needles, only to have them turn him down in August.

Serious peaches in June

When we were turned down we were disappointed, but also relieved.  Both of us were born and raised here in Colorado.  All of our families are here (well, most of mine, I have a few scattered about).  And I have finally been feeling connected to my community here.  So many good friends have been made in the last year.

Fast forward to last week.  They called Rick back, and after some negotiating offered him more than he originally asked for last year.  The first guy they hired instead of Rick had to quit for health reasons, and the next guy has not been able to do the job.  All of this is to say we are going to be packing up the homestead and moving to San Antonio, Texas.

In less than six weeks.

Pearl Farmer's Market

It feels silly to say that this is really unexpected for us.  Last year, we spent a lot of time getting our heads and hearts prepared for a potential move across the country (not to mention the house).  We knew all along that Rick was right for the position and we knew his bosses knew it too.  We actually were surprised when he didn’t get the job after everything.

But now…  now… well now we are packing up everything we own and trying to find a place to rent in a city we’ve visited one time.

Everything we’ve heard about San Antonio has been a mixed bag.  Some love and others hate it.  I feel a bit like Rapunzel in the movie Tangled.  You know… filled with glee one moment and sobbing the next.  But a good friend reminded me that there are good things everywhere.  Thankfully, we’ve heard more good things than bad, and I know this is going to be a big adventure for our family. Ultimately, we are very excited.

Puffy Taco from Taco Taco

We are sad about leaving behind our friends and families and neighbors.  Of course, the beautiful Rockies.  We’re a bit fearful about starting over with gardening and homesteading and community.  I am sad to be leaving my new friends in my homeschooling group and all the friends we’ve made doing the potlucks.  However, I’m finding that I’m sad about leaving behind some things that I did not expect to feel so attached to.

My beautiful garlic that I’ve been saving and growing for the last three years.  It’s already starting to come up in it’s bed full of lovely soil that we’ve built up over nine years here.  The soil.  So much work has gone into building it up.  My compost bins, both full of nearly finished compost.  Just a little TLC when the warm weather hits and it will become black gold.

Our next door neighbor who dug up half his lawn to let us plant potatoes and carrots and onions.  He doesn’t even eat them.  The two cherry trees we discovered half a block from our house on city property… right when I was this close to planting my own.  The pick-your-own peach orchard on the Western slope.  All the digging and tilling and hoeing and digging.  This is the place I first felt that real connection to my food and the earth and, well, everything.  Everything!

Texan tree

On the flip side, there are things that we are really looking forward to.  A fresh start, a new neighborhood (maybe one with lots of families or at least a park).  Maybe a second bathroom and a guest room.  Picking a new house with a bigger yard and the potential to grow more food, year-round.  Did you guys see that there were tomatoes AND peaches in JUNE!?!?!?

So what does this mean for the blog?  Well, I’ve had a long list of topics that are half written about.  Some will need a bit of revision to fit our new situation.  Expect to see them pop up here and there in the next two months.  But I make no promises.

Us. In Texas.

We’re pretty much scrambling to pull off a cross-country move with five people in less than six weeks.  We have found a home for our bees and potential home(s) for the chickens.  We will rent in San Antonio for at least a year, so we will not be taking them with us.  We think we’re going to sell the house.  If we can.  Oh, and did I mention that Rick will be flying back and forth between Texas and Denver and will be gone for 2.5 of those six weeks?  Yeah.

So if it’s quiet for a while, please understand why.  And if you live in South Texas and have any tips for a gardener moving from zone 5a to zone 8b…. please share them.  I’m going to need all the help I can get.  It’s snowing in Denver while it’s a sunny 81° in January there.  Yee-Haw!

Categories: Community, Urban Homesteading, what not | 18 Comments

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