Posts Tagged With: Family

Last week I shared with you my recent angst over social media, and the idea of taking a break from it for the month of May.  Despite all the reasons I shared, taking a break from Facebook and other social media outlets is going to be a tough challenge for me.

Before I get too far into this, I want to tell you that I realize the irony of presenting this idea on my blog, since blogging is a form of social media.  But for me, the blog is neither a huge time sink, an addiction, or a source of fear or anxiety.  I can’t say the same for Facebook.

Today, I’m going to lay out the rules of the challenge.  Throughout the month I plan to share mini-challenges to help us all stay on track, as well as address the positives of social media, and how we can keep the good things without getting sucked into the negatives of social media. This is a work-in-progress for me, so I will probably be making the rules up as I go.

Also, it’s worth mentioning here that my personal social media addiction is with Facebook.  Yours might be too, or maybe it is Twitter, Reddit, You Tube, a certain news website, your RSS feed/Reader or certain blogs.  For the sake of simplicity, I’m going to say FB.  Just apply what I’m saying to the social media outlet of your choice.  Also, please note that the blog automatically posts to Facebook (if you are not participating in the challenge, I don’t want  you to think I’m cheating. ).

I mentioned last week that I thought social media was a lazy community replacement.  So I’ve decided to call  this the Real Community Challenge.

Real Community Challenge 2013

First of all, we need to break the habit.  We need to stop visiting the websites that cause us to waste time or distract us from real life.  Even if it’s this one.  This can be tough.

For me I have a habit of sitting down with my morning coffee, checking my email and then checking FB.  I can waste a whole morning clicking through to different stories.  I plan to install some blocking software on my browser that will keep me from clicking through to FB for the entire month of May.  Since I use Firefox, I will be using LeechBlock.

Here is a really useful link that talks about blocking sites for different browsers, as well as more permanent ways of blocking sites.  Also, if you don’t know which sites are wasting the majority of your time, you can use a tracker (also linked in the page above) to discover what they are.

I’m also going to use LeechBlock to block Pinterest at certain times of the day.  Pinterest is an interesting form of social media.  I’m including it here because I tend to spend a lot of time on it, however I feel differently about Pinterest than other forms of social media.  I will talk more about this later this month.

Next, we’re going to make new habits.

Instead of checking my FB page first thing in the morning while my kids are eating breakfast, I am going to sit at the table with them to eat.  And then clean up breakfast together, get the kids dressed and go for a walk.  I want this to be the new habit.  I’m going to replace my old habit with my new habit.  I don’t care how long or short the walk is.  I need to get outside and see the sun and I am resolving to do this instead of waste time on the computer.

The first rule of the challenge is no phones or media devices at the table and no TV during meal times.

No checking email during dinner, no texting, and if your phone rings during a meal, let it go to voice mail.  You can call them back after dinner is over.  Shut off the TV while you eat.  Silence your phone.

This is my way of telling my family and others that I’m with, they are more important to me than whatever is happening online or in the outside world.  There is no reason to have your phone at the table, a date or dinner party unless you are a doctor or midwife on call, a first responder whose job requires your availability or something similar.  Stress at the office or a micro-managing boss doesn’t count.  This is a good boundary for everyone.

Finally, we are going to take steps to build real community.

Each week I’m going to add a new challenge to build community.  The first place I want to build real community is in my home at meal times.

Every night our family has dinner together, at the table.  We sit down together, eat, and then clear the table together.  If your family doesn’t do this, I urge you to start and to make it a habit.  Since we already do dinner, my first steps are going to be to have every meal together as a family.  At the table.

Instead of making the kids lunch and then doing my own thing while they eat, I’m going to sit down to eat with them, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. If you are not home all day with your kids, I encourage you to eat your meals at a table, not in your car, at a desk or on the couch, and to eat them with someone else.

If you are in an office, eat at a table in the lunch room instead of your desk.  Perhaps a coworker will join you (hey, look, community!).  If you go to a restaurant, go inside and sit down to eat, and try not to go alone.  If you are on the couch, chances are you are watching TV, disengaged from others around you and very likely to overeat.  I find that if I am sitting at a table, especially with someone else, I am much less apt to try to check my FB and more likely to talk to them.

This first meal-time step is simply a suggestion.  If you already eat all your meals at a table with other people, please feel free to make your first step something else.

So that’s the start of it, pretty simple I think.  Starting Wednesday, for the month of May:

• I’m blocking the social media sites that suck away my time and energy.
• I’m going to practice a new, more constructive habit.
• I will not allow media, TV or phones at the table.
• Each week I will take a new step towards real community.

So, will you join me?

If you are up for this challenge, please post what site(s) you will be blocking, what your new habit will be, your promise not to allow phones or media at the table, and what your first step towards real community will be.

I will be blocking Facebook and Pinterest.  Instead of checking them I will go for a walk in the mornings.  Media, TV and phones are not allowed at the table and will be shut off or silenced during meals.  This week I will start eating all meals at the table with my family.